#TheSW30 · random thoughts by m

Back to being Single…

…so I signed up to tackle the Single Woman’s 30-Day Blogging Challenge however with the 10 miler, the crazy work week and the baby shower in Chicago that I threw this past weekend, I hadn’t had time to blog and answer my questions.  However, despite the crazy past week and a half the one thing that hasn’t changed is my status; so since I’m still single, let’s give the next question a whirl.

8) Five things that are most important to you in a mate

This is really funny because I was asked something very similar this weekend.  In fact, any time that anyone hears that I’m single, I typically get asked what I’m looking for.  While I guess it’s good to know and understand what I want, I always feel this is so hard. I don’t want to sound generic but I honestly don’t think I’m looking for anything so profound, which in turn makes me feel simple.

I want someone that I can take to the White House or the Club. This really means I want someone adaptable and not always one way.  I know how to behave and be buttoned up when I have to, but I also like to party with my friends and act…well…ratchet on occasion and I need someone who can ride the wave.  So someone who is social-able, friendly and fun is ideal.

I want someone who is independent and comfortable with my independence.  I have a busy life.  I can’t have anyone who will make me their whole entire universe because honestly I don’t have the capacity, nor do I want to make someone mine.  Don’t get me wrong – I want that all consuming love.  But I am fairly independent and like my personal space (perhaps it’s because I’m an only child) so I need someone who can accept and appreciate that.

I want someone who is financially secure.  I always feel guilty for saying this but I’ve worked damn hard all my life and it aint for naught.  I want someone who can bring something to the table and yes… that means financially, too.  I don’t need someone to keep me in glitter and gold but I also don’t want to have a partner who isn’t motivated to work and who isn’t financially secure and fiscally savvy.

I want someone who can make me laugh and who will laugh with (and sometimes even at) me.  He doesn’t need to be Jerry Seinfeld or Chris Rock, but my partner has to have a sense of humor.  And that’s a non-negotiable.

I want someone who sets my soul on fire.  I want a connection so deep, it’s almost not understandable. He needs to be passionate and loving, considerate and caring, patient and kind. If my partner sets my soul on fire, I can guarantee that any reservations I have about opening up will move to the back burner to allow myself the opportunity to really, truly be loved.

I’m sure I could provide a 6-10 but when I think about it, these are the things that at this point in time, given my past and my experience seem to really ring true.



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