Y’all who know me well know that I love Bravo’s Real Housewives of just about anything. I mean, there isn’t a reality show that makes me happier than that one. I normally sit on my couch mouth open from either astonishment or laughter as I watch the ladies do and say the most ridiculous things. So imagine my surprise when I actually got choked up binge watching some episodes a few weeks ago. Sonja Morgan, normally an entertaining character, said the most poignant thing I’ve ever heard come out of her (or any Housewives) mouth.
“Where I’m at now is dealing with genuine relationships and discarding hurtful, damaging relationships.” — Sonja Morgan
This really stuck with me as I am in the process of discarding or even more simply put, letting go of many things in my life – weight and fear to name two. However, through this journey, I’ve realized the hardest thing about letting go is doing exactly that; letting it go. I can tell myself that I will let [it] go but then when it comes time to actually implement and execute, it’s as if my hand is crazy-glued to the “it” I’m supposed to be letting go of. This is especially true of people and relationships. I’m facing this pivotal time in my life where I’m letting go of certain relationships, both naturally (as people just tend to grow a part) and purposefully (as some people are finally showing me who they are).
Some people find it easy to let relationships go but for me, it’s as if I’m cutting off a limb. I think the reason why it’s so hard is that I pride myself on being a good friend. Actually, not just a good friend, a great friend. I am an only child who has had to make friends to avoid loneliness from the time I started talking. As a result, I have not and will not ever live by the “no new friends” motto. For example, I’m still friends with a girl from 4th grade, am the Godmother to two of my dear friend’s children from high school, and have dinner plans with my old co-worker (pre-business school) on Friday. I am friendly, welcoming and inclusive almost to a fault. And above all else I am loyal and start from a place of trust. If you’re my friend, you are my chosen family. Therefore, I trust you and expect you to hold my friendship in the same high regard I hold yours. But unfortunately, there are a few people in my life who have violated my friendship and my trust and as a result, I have to discard those hurtful, damaging relationships.
Because I’m all emo (even over the smallest things), this fact has been hurting me to my core, but one thing I know to be true is that: when you let go of bad things, you make room for new things. And I’m encouraged by the amount of good things I already have like love from those I call my “tried and true” who know and accept me just the way I am and who wholeheartedly carry my friendship and my heart with theirs, and for the good things I will allow myself to receive by making room: whether that’s new friends, new experiences or new episodes of Real Housewives.
I’m sure everyone has had to discard and let go at some point. How do you move on when someone you care about has hurt you?