life in general · rants

Rise Above.

“A person can only rise so high. Now I’m rising above, but there’s a ceiling and I’m about to hit it.” — Grey’s Anatomy

After the whole check bouncing incident, I thought things couldn’t have gotten much worse but I was wrong. This weekend, ups and downs, proved me wrong. Things in fact could get worse, but I of course, could rise above. After a long week, I decided to call in reinforcement (meaning: two of my bests) to meet me at the nail salon for much needed manis and pedis [up]. The salon got new massage chairs for the pedicures, which made my much needed trip even more worthwhile. After pedis, Sin and I headed to eat, drink and be merry. On the way grub, my old roomie, L called me and told me she had an ex sighting. I should have known at that point, it the weekend would be hairy. Now, although the ex and I are from the same area, I have been fortunate enough to not see him, since I chose to stop speaking to him last June (5 whole months after the break-up and torturing myself wishing and hoping we would get back together). In that timeframe, not one of my friends has seen him either. It’s as if, he, me, us, simply disappeared, never existed. So anyway, she told me she had a sighting and they spoke cordially. Cool, whatever, moving on.

Saturday rolls around and on the way home from a fabulous trip to the hair salon [up] my Dad called me and told me my step mother’s mother (his mother-in-law, my step-grandmother) passed away that afternoon. I wasn’t extremely close with her and didn’t know her very well (she lived far away), but I still felt awful for my stepmom. She was older and sick, so it wasn’t a total shock, but still sucks nonethless [down]. Feeling bad for the situation, but refusing to feel defeated, I went shopping for a little retail therapy, where I found the cutest sweater and even better a pair of jeans for $4.99 [up]. Good jeans from Banana Republic which went on sale. $4.99. Can you even believe? I then continue with my day, running to a birthday party for my friend’s son (he turned 1) and then off to watch a movie (Why did I get Married?) with my lovely mother [up]. After watching a movie, I run home, change really quickly and meet up with a group of girls to head out for a night on the town. A big party town about 30 minutes away. Enter the bar, order my signature drink (vodka & club soda with a lime), when I am greeted with a BOMB. Ex is in the building. CODE RED!! My dodging bullets for the last eight months in my own friggin’ home town just ended in a huge party town, with 800 other bars, 30 minutes away [down]. My first reaction was to run, but then I had to quickly put myself in check, because: 1) I had just as much a right to be in that bar as him 2) I’m over it and him, so why am I ready and willing to run? I wasn’t gonna run. I was gonna do my thing and whatever happened, happened.

Wanna know what happened? Mecca had a few vodka sodas, felt very nice and danced the night away. I had a fabulous time and didn’t care that he was there. The only thing that sucked was that at one point in the night he purposefully looked me right in my face, and turned and ran for the bar [down]. He’s a punk. A weasel. I mean, I would have been cordial. But he chose to be an a-hole, so I decided to keep it moving and try to forget it. It did hurt my feelings, because this wasn’t some random relationship, this guy was who I thought was “the one”. So the fact that couldn’t even look at me, hurt. But I knew I did nothing wrong. I didn’t break up with me. I didn’t walk away. He did. He has to work through whatever he going through. I can’t change that. All I can do is move on. The night ended with a trip to my favorite diner [up]. What could be better?

Sunday, I was on my way to the mall, stopped at a light, minding my business, when BAM! F-ing a-hole whacks me from behind out of nowhere [major down]. I mean, hello? Does anyone pay attention on the road anymore? The good thing is, I am fine (went to the ER and just sore and a bit stiff) and Kira (my car) doesn’t have any major cosmetic damage. I am going to drop her off on Thursday though and getting a rental car just to make sure everything is ok. And it wasn’t my fault.

Yesterday I had off, although I ended up working at night for a major project that someone had to do and that someone just had to be me [down]. (No one else would do it on their day off). I got home late from work, woke up exhausted, and was greeted at work with a long laundry list of issues with a project I’m working on from legal. I bust into tears. (Literally, this is before it was even 9:30).

I’m so frustrated because I’m trying. Working my tail off and it seems for every one good thing, I get two bad. As the quote up top reads…I’m rising but I’m sooooo about to hit the ceiling.

Can a girl catch a break?

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