WTF is wrong with me and my luck these days?

After an exhausting week and weekend, I wanted nothing more than to get a little face time with my pillow and blankets; yes plural since it’s mighty cold these days. So anyway, I’m getting my sleep groove on, deep into my REM when suddenly I am awakened by a G-O-D AWFUL STENCH.

Now, my bedroom windows are worth shit, are not air tight and have let in everything from cold air to hot air, my neighbor’s exhaust from the cars, my neighbor’s loud mouths (in a drunken stupor at 2am), etc. through them, but this time, I almost lost it. Literally, almost vomited. A fucking skunk. That’s right people, Pepe-Le-Fucking-Pew himself, was messing around outside and set it OFF. You would have thought the little fucker was hiding under my bed or something. I don’t know when it happened, but what I do know is that at 4am, I was forced to build a blanket cave so that I could 1) attempt to go back to sleep and 2) breathe. Wasn’t happening. I sealed my blanket cave so tight, I almost suffocated and was forced to breathe through my mouth, not my nose, which means when/if I did fall back asleep, I probably swallowed a spider or two. I did attempt to take it to the living room BUT it was worse out there (and much colder). I ended up crying at 6am, because tired ole me kept having visions that my clothes, which were drying on my drying rack (from being washed the night before) were going to smell like Pepe.

Needless to say, I made it to work SUPER early this morning.