The simu-date aka (simulation date) was a hit. Mister Smith, as I’ll call him, is tall, dark and handsome. And old friend whom I haven’t seen in years and was interested in having dinner and drinks with lil ole me. Fantastic! It was nice and although no “vibes” were given, I enjoyed being in the company of a man, who paid attention to me, who paid for dinner, and who even opened doors. Mister Smith is a hustler. He talked a lot about his drive, his ambition, is career. He talked a lot about himself. Since I also like to talk about myself, I thought this might be a small problem. Nah, not so much. I listened…sipped on my glass of Pinot Noir, ate my sushi and miso soup and took it all in. This simu-date was not really a date at all…just two old friends getting together, but definitely a wonderful time.

While I love my girls dearly, it was great to be engaging with a member of the opposiet sex in something other than a work setting. Nice to get dolled up, nice to flirt, nice to bat my eyes. I don’t know what will happen with Mister Smith; but nonetheless this simu-date was great pratice for maybe a real date…

For those of you who don’t know, the reason I started journaling (which turned into online blogging) was to mourn the death of my past relationship, which at one point I thought was “it”. When you realize that “it” is merely nothing, just a facade, you have to start over, which can feel as daunting to one person as re-learning how to walk. How do you take the first step towards something that is unknown? I’m still learning that at the end of the day, you don’t question, you just do it. Plain and simple. You take one foot and put it in front of the other. It’s scary as shit and takes a heep-ho of courage but you do it.

Thank you Mister Smith…not just for paying for my dinner, but for giving me hope that one day, I can and will have that giddy, girly almost nauseating feeling in the pit of my stomach.

One day at a time; one foot in front of the other.

Good night.